Friday, May 17, 2013

You might be a serious costume junkie if....

1. You inspect costume jewelry before you buy it to examine it's "re-purpose" capabilities.
1. Your hat boxes actually contain hats. REALLY big ones.
2. You've ever made a bum roll so big that you looked like a Kenyan tribal dancer.
3. Home depot employees know your first name, AND what you need spring steel and wire for..
4. Your Netflix list is referred to by family members as "Ambien Theater" and contains such treasures as "The Lady and the Highwayman"
5. You have had to install a garment rack the full length of your garage (with a hat shelf, of course)
6. You have ever sewn your own shoes (or at least tried to).
7. The word "undergarments" brings to mind apparel big enough to put framework in and stay the night.
8. You get giddy at the after Christmas sale of ribbons and big plastic tubs.
9. You've ever been to a church rummage sale and literally become short of breath over a big score of brocade curtains. (No, honey, really I'm ok....snatching them up to outrun your paranoia that someone else might try and get them before you.
10. You shop at thrift stores by yourself, rather than explain to your non costumer friend WHY this (whatever crap you found) is SO AWESOME!
11. You know silk by its "temperature" and texture. Extra points if you know what I mean by "temperature".
12. You dream in "Epic Costume Mode". Yesterday, I was in a mermaid suit, and I looked friggin' fantastic! Luckily, I am thin in my dreams.
13. You judge the amount of coffe/tea you make by how big the project is, and you don't understand the incredulous look you get from your sweetheart when you make cappucino at 10pm. Whaaaat??
14. You own more than three machines, and there is at least one dead one in the garage that did not survive you.
15. You have ever talked your sweetheart into trying on your dress or poofy pants so you can check the drape/hem/ etc.
16. You own a big box of hair. Some of it reminiscent of road kill.
17. You attend the opera for the costumes (extra points if you bring an ipod).
18. Your hoard of fabric and junk is growing faster than your kids.
18. Apon hearing the news that a local cock fighting ring was shut down, you grieve for the loss of all those beautiful feathers as much as for the poor birds themselves being euthanized and incinerated.                                                                             19. You have ever attended a public function with your hands dyed completely blue, and your only issue with that was that it came out indigo instead of cyan.
Catharine Myers

1 comment:

  1. Hilarious and dead on! What a hoot you are!!!